The fact that changing habits can feel challenging holds true for many things — exercise, a healthier way of eating, a more conscious use of social media, performance-focused work habits, or making time to relax and unwind.
“Today is the day!” we tell ourselves, and we incorporate our new routine with a huge feeling of motivation and a strong sense of our iron will. This is usually because our enthusiasm helps control our environment with precision in the beginning.
If it is healthy eating we are trying for, then we carefully prepare our meals, and relish the new, healthy taste. We feel empowered and committed when we say “No thanks!” to things that do not form part of our plan. “We’ve totally got this!” we think to ourselves. We are in control and sure of our efforts, and know that, given time, the weight will just drop off, or the treadmill will start to feel easier, or we’ll perform brilliantly at work.
This conviction often lasts for a few days, but then the external environment begins to exert its pressure on our very best intentions.
We run out of time to make the meal healthily, or we sleep in instead of making it to the gym, or get “stuck” in our inbox instead of into the project that we needed to focus on. And just like that, we fall off the wagon of good intentions.
But do we have to lay sobbing by the roadside, resignedly wondering when another wagon will pass? That could take weeks, months, or even years. What about jumping up, dusting ourselves off, chasing after the wagon, and hopping straight back on? It will still arrive at its destination on time, and because we did not give up — we will arrive with it.
When we have interrupted our streak or we have ruined our perfect score, we choose to give up way too easily. What follows are a few days, or even weeks, of the original bad habits, which take us right back to the starting point; which is to feel dissatisfied with our choices and their results. It requires significant energy to kickstart a whole new wagon again. It can be exhausting to have an all-or-nothing approach, especially in the beginning, when we are trying to ingrain new and positive habits into our lives.
Slip-ups and regressions
Slip-ups and regressions are normal — we are human beings, not robots. We just need to learn to catch them at the falling-off phase, and not allow the dust and desolation of the empty roadside to consume us.
Imagine your wagon as something that consistently trundles forward, and resolve to stay on it. The ride may feel slower than you would like, but it is steady, and it is covering ground, with you on board. There will be rewards along the way.
One poor meal or indulgent treat does not have to translate to the whole day being written off. One work mishap does not mean that all your efforts have been wasted. The less you regress, the easier it is to do the picking up, dusting off and jumping back on.
It is no one else’s responsibility to do it for you. Others have their hands full already, with trying to stay on their own wagons. Be good to yourself, and choose to stay on yours. In time you will be less concerned about staying on, because that will come more naturally and become a part of your lifestyle. Then you can be more focused on the scenery, and on enjoying the ride.
Decide to make improvements in some of these areas to enhance your energy and performance — and to arrive somewhere meaningful in your own determined time. These are simple things to improve, but the power of combining them can be significant. You can tailor each of these to fit into your lifestyle, for best results.
- Sleep enough. Wake up rested and ready.
- Eat healthily. Focus mostly on whole foods that grow and avoid processed food, and alcohol.
- Get your heart rate up, strengthen your body and work on your flexibility.
- Focus on quality. Do your best work on important tasks sequentially rather than trying to multitask.
- Find fun! Curate new experiences for yourself and for those you care about.
- Less wasted time on tech. Be intentional with the time you spend on your devices.
Attempt this 30 day challenge, and see how you feel at the end:
- Sleep seven to eight hours a night.
- Prepare a healthy lunch for every work day, and drink at least two litres of water.
- Exercise a minimum of four times a week for at least 30 minutes.
- Focus on one big, important work task for two uninterrupted hours each morning.
- Check your emails only three times a day, at predetermined times.
- Plan one new outing or experience for each week — something that you haven’t tried before; or somewhere you haven’t been.
- Scroll on your phone for just 15 minutes less each day, and use that time to do something meaningful for someone you love.
At the end of 30 days you should be well rested, feeling healthier, fitter and more energised; with some good ground covered at work, some new experiences under your belt, and some quality time directed to people you care about.
We design our days, and the quality of our lives is a result of the accumulation of how we choose to spend them.
If good habits are a part of our days, then those are the results and rewards we will reap in our lives, over and over again. It takes perseverance, and a summoning of strength, and a commitment to starting afresh, every time we slip up.
Practice certainly does make progress, and the more we keep pitching up, the more ground we will start to cover.
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